Islam preserves relations between individuals in a way that suits the human nature. The contact between a man and a woman is prohibited except under the wing of legal marriage. If there is any necessity of talking to the opposite sex, it should be within the limits of politeness and good manners.

Preventing temptation

Islam is eager to extinguish any form of fornication at its outset. It is not permissible for a woman or a man to establish a friendship, or love relationship with someone from the opposite gender through chat rooms, internet or any other means, as this leads the woman or the man to temptation. This is the way of the devil by which he drags the person to fall into sin, fornication, or adultery. Allah says:

O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan - indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. (...)

Quran - 24:21

(interpretation of the meaning)

The woman is forbidden to speak softly to one who is not permissible for her, as Allah says:

(...) be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.

Quran - 33:32

(interpretation of the meaning)

The meeting together, mixing, and intermingling of men and women in one place, the crowding of them together, and the revealing and exposure of women to men are prohibited by the Law of Islam (Shari'ah). These acts are prohibited because they are among the causes for fitnah (temptation or trial which implies evil consequences), the arousing of desires, and the committing of indecency and wrongdoing. The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) said:

O Ali, do not follow one glance with another, for you may be allowed the first but not the second.

Musnad Ahmad, 1369

The Quran prohibits having girlfriends or boyfriends. Allah says:

(...) Wed them with the permission of their own folk and give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable; they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends (...)

Quran - 4:25

(interpretation of the meaning)

Social considerations

Entering into a boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationship can harm a woman's reputation in serious ways that won’t necessarily affect the male partner. Sex before marriage runs contrary to religion and jeopardises one’s lineage/honour. It is difficult to see through the haze of love, lust or infatuation, which is why Allah commands us all to stay away from premarital sex. So much damage can occur after just one unlawful act of premarital sex, for example unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, heartbreak, guilt.

Other than the explicit prohibition from God, there are obvious wisdoms to pre-marital relations being unlawful. Among these are:

1. The unambiguity of paternity if the woman becomes pregnant. Despite even long term relationships, who is to say that the woman is not sleeping with other men in order to establish compatibility of a future spouse?
2. A child born out of wedlock is not attributed to the father. The preservation of lineage is one of the main objectives of the Shariah.
3. Such relationships give men the advantage to ‘do as they please’ with women, and are free from any emotional and financial responsibility towards the woman and any children born from the relationship.
4. There is an innate virtue in preserving one’s chastity before marriage that has been recognised for many centuries and established by every religion.
5. While we may not observe any outward difference in our worldly affairs, improper practices have an effect on the soul that we cannot perceive. The more one indulges in sin, the more one’s heart becomes hardened.
6. Having multiple partners increases the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases and infecting others.
7. There is no guarantee that living together before marriage is a sure indication of the relationship after marriage. Many non-Muslim couples live together for years, only to break up after they marry.
8. One must also ask themselves whether they would like their own sons and daughters doing the same thing before marriage?

In conclusion, it doesn’t make any sense that long term relationships and sex before marriage is permitted. The individual considerations are insignificant compared to the host of serious issues that would affect individuals, mainly women, and is a sure way to lead to the decadence of society and one’s own soul.

Source: islamqa.org · islamqa.org · islamqa.org · islamqa.org · islamqa.org · islamweb.net · islamweb.net · islamqa.info · islamqa.info · islamqa.info · islamqa.info · islamqa.info · islamqa.info · islamqa.info