In Islam, interaction with the opposite gender is allowed for necessity but must be modest, brief, and avoid temptation.

The principle of prevention (warding off harm)

In Islam, everything that could lead a person to fall into impermissible (haram) things is also impermissible, even if in principle it is originally permitted. This is what the scholars call the principle of warding off harm. Allah says in the Quran:

O believers! Do not follow the footsteps of Satan. (...)

Quran - 24:21

(interpretation of the meaning)

Conversation - whether in person, verbally or in writing - between men and women is permissible in and of itself, but it may be a way of falling into the trial (fitnah) set by the Satan (Shaytaan).

The dangers of interacting with the opposite gender

There can be no doubt that the fitnah (temptation) of women is great. The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) said:

I have not left behind me any fitnah that is more harmful to men than women.

Sahih Muslim, 2741

Hence, the Muslim has to be cautious of this fitnah and keep away from anything that may cause him to fall prey to it. Some of the greatest causes of this fitnah are looking at women and mixing with them.

Allah says in the Quran:

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All‑Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils all over their chests and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.

Quran - 24:30-31

(interpretation of the meaning)

Here Allah commands His Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) to tell the believing men and women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, then He explains that that is purer for them. Guarding one’s chastity and avoiding immoral actions is achieved only by avoiding the means that lead to such actions. Undoubtedly letting one’s gaze wander and the mixing of men and women in the workplace and elsewhere are among the greatest means that lead to immorality.

How often have these conversations led to bad results, and even caused people to fall in love, and have led some to do things that are even more serious than that. Satan (Shaytaan) makes each of them imagine attractive qualities in the other, which leads them to develop an attachment that is detrimental to their spiritual welfare and worldly affairs.

Etiquettes of talking to the opposite gender

A person’s Mahram (translated in English as "unmarriageable kin") is someone whom they are never permitted to marry because of their close blood relationship (for a woman those are her forefathers, descendants, brothers, uncles, and nephews) or because of breastfeeding or because they are related by marriage (for a woman those are her husband’s forefathers, his stepfathers, his descendants, and her daughters' husbands).

Speaking with a person of the opposite gender to whom one is not related (i.e., not Mahram) should only be for a specific need, such as asking a question, buying or selling, asking about the head of the household, and so on. Such conversations should be brief and to the point, with nothing doubtful in either what is said or how it is said. The conversation should not be allowed to wander too far from the topic being discussed; they should not ask about personal matters that have no bearing on the matter being discussed, such as how old a person is, how tall he or she is, or where he or she lives etc.

Islam blocks all the ways that may lead to fitnah (temptation), hence it forbids softness of speech and does not allow a man to be alone with a non-Mahram woman. They should not let their voices be soft, or use soft and gentle expressions. rather they should speak in the same, ordinary tone of voice as they would speak to anyone else. Allah, may He be exalted, says, addressing the Mothers of the Believers:

(...) then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.

Quran - 33:32

(interpretation of the meaning)

It is also not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman who is not his Mahram, because the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) said:

No man should be alone with a woman unless there is a mahram with them.

Sahih Muslim, 1341

The conversation or correspondence must be halted immediately if the heart starts to stir with feelings of desire. Also, joking, laughing or flirting must be avoided. Another etiquette of interacting with the opposite gender is avoiding staring and always trying hard to lower the gaze as much as possible. Jarir bin 'Abdullah reported:

I asked Allah's Messenger ﷺ (peace be upon him) about the sudden glance (that is cast) on the face (of a non-Mahram). He commanded me that I should turn away my eyes.

Sahih Muslim, 2159

It is also worth mentioning that it is not permissible for a man who believes in Allah and His Messenger ﷺ (peace be upon him) to have physical contact with a member of the opposite gender who is a non-Mahram to him.

Source: islamqa.info · islamqa.info · islamqa.info · islamqa.info